fantasywifeuniverse:

You want me to cook you dinner while wearing lingerie? Sounds kinky! I’m not much for cooking, but I could order us a pizza.

*click*

Can I please wearing lingerie while I cook us dinner? I just… I just want to be a good girlfriend. You’ll think its hot, right?

*click*

Ohmygawd I’m having the best time serving snacks for you and all your buddies during the football game. Isn’t this like even better than Hooters? *giggle* Now I’m almost done with the lemon bars. Oh and tell your friend I’m sorry for accidentally knocking over his beer. Sometimes my ass just has a mind of her own! I swear I’ll make it up to y’all by putting on a show during halftime, k?